Becoming a twin mom

I have had the pleasure and some what unique experience of becoming a mom to my first son, followed by my second son and then doubling down and having twins. Welcoming twins into our family had never crossed my mind, not even as a joke. Twins do not run in our family, and my dear friend had twins, so of course lightning wouldn’t strike twice. I went to my first ultrasound. I was nervous, I always am. Thoughts running through my head were, “I hope there is a heartbeat. I hope they show me the screen. If they don’t show me the screen, that must mean there is no heartbeat.” These appointments are tough. Lying on the bed, I joked with the ultrasound tech, “There is only one, right?” She looked at me, confused, and said, “Oh no, there are two! You didn’t know?” I started to cry. I wasn’t sad or happy, I was confused. The tech printed me a picture, and I ran out of the building as fast as I could. My first phone call was to my friend with twins. She didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me. We already have two kids. Three kids is a lot of kids. Four kids, holy bananas. Sydney and I strategized about how to tell Zach. I thought maybe I should make a joke, then decided to be clear and direct. He thought I was joking anyways. We were beside ourselves. I booked an appointment with my therapist. I was quite sick with nausea, and by 17 weeks I was very much showing. I wasn’t able to work anymore. Playing and mothering my one year old and three year old while being pregnant with twins took all of my energy. Being pregnant with twins was significantly more challenging than with my singletons. Do not get me wrong, singleton pregnancies are challenging too. We rise to the occasion, and all pregnancies ask incredible feats of strength from us.

There are few differences you may experience when pregnant with twins. You will see your care provider more often, and you will have many more ultrasounds, which I loved. I would go to the hospital once a week or so to receive iron via IV. The chairs were cozy, the view was great, and I got a nice little two hours to rest. I also experienced cholestasis, a slowing or stalling of bile through the biliary system. This can mean different things for different people. In my case, I was incredibly itchy on my hands and feet. I would ice them as often as I could. At this point, I was basically bedridden and walking with a cane. I chuckle to myself now, thinking back. The twins are almost three. At the time, this pregnancy felt awful. I struggled to find happiness and hope. I was so glad the babies were healthy and doing well, and at the same time I was miserable, in pain, and scared.

At 35 weeks, I was going for non stress tests. I could feel Baby A moving a lot, but not much from Baby B. Naturally, I was worried. At 37 weeks, we had a scheduled cesarean. Arriving at the hospital not in labour to give birth was a new experience for me. I quite liked it. After I selected some music, The Lumineers, Zach joined me, and only a few minutes later, Summer, Baby A, was born. I am not sure why, but I started to panic and feel anxious. I was nauseous and began to vomit. Baby A was getting cleaned up, and then Baby B, Callum, was born. He had some fluid in his lungs, so he was quickly taken to the NICU to be cared for there. It was a strange feeling not to be holding my babies after giving birth to them. I do not know why that happened, why not even Summer was given to me.

I did not hire a doula with the twins like I had done in the past. I did not think I needed one. I knew I was going to have a cesarean, that is what I wanted. Now, in hindsight, I wish I had. Having a doula during my second birth was invaluable. Steph was everything to me. Having a doula during all stages of our twin pregnancy could have changed so many outcomes, perspectives, and memories for the better. Specifically, I could have met with a doula before being picked up by an OB. The wait for an OB or midwife can feel like forever. Our first appointments feel far to late. I would have given a vaginal birth more thought if I had support from a doula. My OB assumed I would have a c section, so that was that. As I became more swollen, bedridden and in pain a doula could have helped support me emotionally via texts, phone calls or meetings. They would recommend different practitioners to help manage pain, itching, diet and exercise. My doula and I could have planed and prepared for all outcomes during the c section procedure to ensure the doula or Zach could be with each twin. A doula is a best friend that deeply cares for you, can help to inform you, advocate for you, reassure you and support you.

If you are pregnant with twins, let us connect. I would love to help support you through your twin mom journey.